Colonoscopies suck. They are the most miserable, terrible things to prep for. And I have been blessed with a GI tract that doesn't act its age (it likes to act like my 80+ year old Gram) and it has required two of these lovely procedures. So, at the tender age of 23, I am a pro-colonoscopee.
I have never met anyone that looks foward to prepping for one of these things. I love it. My secret: Keep your bowel mind as clear as possible with only good thoughts. You need to make the best of it. Before I go into my pictorial, I would first like to start on the benefits of a colonoscopy.
- Perfect kick start to a diet-- clean as a whistle
- Test of mental and physical toughness
- Practice chugging skill
- Early glimpse of what it will be like when you are older (most people require colonoscopies after reaching the half century mark
- Catch up on reading
- Day off of work
- Find out you handle Propofol better than MJ (the drug he OD-ed on)
- See how fast you can run to the bathroom
- Excuse to lay low for two straight days
And now, without further adieu...
10 Simple Ways to Make Your Colonoscopy a Delightful Experience
1. Because you are on a liquid diet, your daily intake of goodness is quite limited. The only thing I recommend is the Italian Ice--broth is not ideal. I slow cooked the chicken and beef broth on the stove and sucked it down with a straw. Not too tasty, but a fun way to eat!
2. Fluid consumption is crucial in colonoscopy prep (PC). Because the food blows
3. Drinking the Miralax Mango cocktail is mental for me. So, I made a classy pitcher and drank it out of a wine glass--presentation is everything.
*Note: oranges used as garnish. no citrus fruit was consumed as that is against the CP rules.
*Note: oranges used as garnish. no citrus fruit was consumed as that is against the CP rules.
4. Pick your throne wisely. I chose my upstairs bathroom--low volume and more private. The cool periwinkle walls create a calming atmosphere conducive to CP. I also suggest the softest TP you can find. (I did not do this and am still wishing I did). I also lit candles on the sink area (not shown) which helped keep me centered and gave of a delightful cinnamon apple scent.
5. Entertainment. KEY. Perhaps the most important aspect. Gather some light reading and a laptop for your viewing pleasure. I chose Harry Potter for my reading and watched episodes of "The Office". Glamour also helped me pick out the "perfect bathingsuit for my body". I killed so many birds with one stone!
6. Dress appropriately. I opted for some airy cotton Ralph Lauren PJs and a Panda neck pillow. Comfort and cuteness is key in CP. You never know who you will run into-literally-on your way to the bathroom.
7. On the day of the actual procedure, take time to smell the flowers on the way out the door. Remember, its the little things guys. Mmmmm.
8. Put all your belongings in your "PERSONAL BELONGINGS" bag provided by your edoscopy center. It's just badass. It would have been more badass if I had a permanent marker to write "KaceFace" from planet Uranus. It would be almost as badass as wearing eye black at summer softball games.
9. Embrace the IV. This is your tool to prove that you are better than Michael Jackson at something. (I am also better at dancing than him, this was just the icing on the cake)
10. Sit back in your johnny, put your feet up, and enjoy the wild ride--it will be over before you know it!
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