"I look at your feet and react how I assume the ancient Greeks reacted when they saw a solar eclipse: OMG. HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS THAT?!"
- The Animal
- The Animal
My sister got the pretty feet genes in the family--actually pretty sure those are the only good genes she got that I did not. My heinous dogs do not stand a chance next to her tiny, adorable child-size tootsies that are often found in elegant heels and strappy sandals. Although we have never had a formal Fantastic Foot Competition (which surprises me because my sister is so competetive), I know that when we get pedicures together the pedicurists look at my feet, point, and say something in a different language and then laugh their tails off. I am fine with that.
I have come to terms with my mobilizers.Besides the ever-growing protuberance-aka Magical Bunion fondly known as Bunny-I have on my lovely Left, I also have cute little Siamese Toes. These extra special buddy toes are connected (like Siamese Twins) and then branch off eventually. (see pictures below. they are not originals. they are googles)
I used to be very self-conscious about my feet and didn't like to flaunt them around too much. I mean, I still get a little nervous, especially when the boy you are just starting to date points rudely at Bunny and blurts out "What is that?!" I believe I told him it was a softball injury as I had just come from a game. It has been about four months and Bunny is still there.
So, I know I have heinous feet that attract negative, unwanted attention where ever I bring them. But, these same feet allow me to lots of great things including-but definitely not limited to:
Life is still good.
I have come to terms with my mobilizers.Besides the ever-growing protuberance-aka Magical Bunion fondly known as Bunny-I have on my lovely Left, I also have cute little Siamese Toes. These extra special buddy toes are connected (like Siamese Twins) and then branch off eventually. (see pictures below. they are not originals. they are googles)
I used to be very self-conscious about my feet and didn't like to flaunt them around too much. I mean, I still get a little nervous, especially when the boy you are just starting to date points rudely at Bunny and blurts out "What is that?!" I believe I told him it was a softball injury as I had just come from a game. It has been about four months and Bunny is still there.
So, I know I have heinous feet that attract negative, unwanted attention where ever I bring them. But, these same feet allow me to lots of great things including-but definitely not limited to:
- Shaking my tailfeather on the dance floor
- Struggle through the worst athletic event of my life- The Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon
- Walk BigRed around the floors of Dana Farber giving millions of stickers and smiles out
- Take Foxy to the market and watch her run over anyone who stands in the way of her sugar wafers
- Starting point to put pants on
- And cute panties for that matter
- Be miserable in heels because there are no comfortable heels for my feet.
- Annoy/gross out people who hate them by rubbing Bunny on them
- Distract other drivers by sticking them out the window in the car
- Serve as a conversation starter
- Serve as a Handstand Topper Offer
Life is still good.
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